Imperfect Creators...

May 23, 2014

“One of the strangest things is the act of creation.

You are faced with a blank slate—a page, a canvas, a block of stone or wood, a silent musical instrument.

You then look inside yourself. You pull and tug and squeeze and fish around for slippery raw shapeless things that swim like fish made of cloud vapor and fill you with living clamor. You latch onto something. And you bring it forth out of your head like Zeus giving birth to Athena.

And as it comes out, it takes shape and tangible form.

It drips on the canvas, and slides through your pen, it springs forth and resonates into the musical strings, and slips along the edge of the sculptor’s tool onto the surface of the wood or marble.

You have given it cohesion. You have brought forth something ordered and beautiful out of nothing.

You have glimpsed the divine.” ~ Vera Nazarian

You will be hated.  You will be loved.  There will be a fairly proportionately equal amount to both sides of the spectrum. 

I know, I know.  Re-read the last line above and absorb it.  Really absorb it.  I was quite surprised when I published my first novel and people weren't automatically celebrating it, lauding my genius, as something inspired and monumental...

Yeah... that didn't happen.  I did get some kudos, but I also got some criticisms.  Because the truth of the matter is... I'm not perfect.  (I know, I know... I was shocked when I first realized this too).  ;) 

I truly hope the sarcasm is coming through in this blog post otherwise I would sound like the most pompous writer in existence.  But so it is.  And likely, I'll be willing to bet the farm on it, you're not a perfect writer either. 

I know more than my fair share of folks who have hesitated on putting their creative works, whether it be writing, art, or some other medium, out in the public for the world to see because it's "not ready yet."  And I can understand that.  We want to forever perfect and enhance our babies.  But before you know it, ten years have passed and you're still spending time "enhancing" something you created a decade prior, without having created anything new... 

Remember how I mentioned that you can't plan on everything, that you often times have to be a little scrappy when it comes to writing?  This is where you need to set a boundary for yourself.  Whether you decide to do two edits/re-writes or if you want to keep at it until you're literally sick of looking at the same words over and over again, set a goal for yourself.  Because I'll be honest with you.  There will still be things that you will look at when perusing your book years later that make you cringe.  Where you wish you would have crafted a sentence a different way to maximize the impact of the words, etc. 

But you have to look at writing as a sort of a journey.  Who I was when I wrote my VERY first novel (at age 15) entitled "War" is NOT who I am today...  (thankfully!!  That novel will never see the light of day!  What a mess!)...

But without it, I wouldn't have ended up here.  I wouldn't have learned from my mistakes and moved forward.  Your writing craft, just as with any type of creative craft, will NEVER be perfected.  Only continuously honed.  It's not static, but it's ever changing.  You'll also notice your craft begins to change depending on internal things that happen to you.

I hate to bring up famous writers, especially ones so very well known in my posts, but look at Stephen King.  He was the master of horror, the kind that creeps in through the cracks and messes with your mind, taking ordinary, everyday types of things and making them sinister and possible... 

And then something terrible happened.  In 1999, he was hit by a car while walking along a road shoulder in Maine.  King was transported via helicopter to a nearby hospital. He suffered several injuries and at one point they believed they were going to have to amputate his leg because it was so shattered.

After a lot of recuperation and, I'm sure, more than his fair share of introspection, he decided to continue writing. But the tone of his novels had changed.  Look at some of his earlier works and then anything post 2000 and you'll see what I mean.  The horror was softer somehow, not quite as ominous and dark.  There were recurring themes of forgiveness and redemption... 

It's difficult as a writer to create a story and not put yourself into it to some degree...and frankly, I think that's what makes us beautiful, imperfect creators.  Forever metamorphosing into something richer and grander...  a finish line looming just around the corner that we will never, ever reach. 

You have something unique to offer.  Something unique as a creator that I don't have, or that the person closest to you doesn't have.  You have a journey that you can utilize to best tell a story.  And there are no two journeys that are the same.

So instead of looking at your words and doubting yourself, forever putting off getting them out into the world to see the light of day because you don't think they are "good enough," ask yourself this: by whose barometer of "good" are you using?  Your own?  Or are you comparing yourself to other writers? 

If it's the latter, frankly that is an act of futility in its own right, something you should never, ever do.  Because of your uniqueness.  You are not worse or better than anyone else, just different.

Of course.  Like I said before, there is always room to grow.  And when I published my first book and saw some of the negative comments, I took those more to heart than I did the positive comments (don't we all?)  The trick is to determining which comments are constructive criticisms that you, after licking your wounds, can come back to a little while later and seriously consider to help hone the betterment of your craft.  And which are destructive.  That serve no purpose whatsoever.

The world is full of negativity, people who will piss on your work just because they can, not because they genuinely like or dislike your work.  Just because they, for whatever reason in their own life, are unhappy or unfulfilled and feel like pissing on something.  There is a lot of truth here; so keep that in mind.  Often, with these destructive remarks, it has 100% nothing to do with you.  Or your work.  There's a freedom to that thought.

However, with the constructive criticisms, there is also a lot of valid truth that you will have to learn to acknowledge if you want to continue to grow as a writer.  (And trust me; for me it's easier to just discard the Negative Nancy's than to actually approach constructive criticisms and take them to heart).  But it's a fact of the business.  You put something out into the world for the world to see, they're going to see it.  They're going to have an opinion on it. They're going to hate it.  They're going to love it.

But check this...  most of the above was about the criticisms that you will find and how to best deal with that.  But it's these other moments that make putting your work out into the forefront more than worthwhile.

My books are now sold in every continent in the world (with the exclusion of the poor neglected penguins in Antarctica).  I have had people from all over the world reach out to me to give me praise.  I have had aspiring writers approach me for advice and to tell me that they admire me for making it happen.  I've had ridiculously extended coffee meetings with readers who want to talk about my books, my characters...  the stories... and I get absorbed in them all over again.

Realizing that your writing is actually reaching people on a personal and positive level...frankly, that is well worth everything else. 

But no matter what you do, whether you decide to publish your works or not, never stop creating.  Stop working on that piece that you've been "perfecting" for the last decade.  Put it aside and create more.  

Don't be afraid to let the chips fall where they may.

Don't be afraid to be flawed and imperfect.  That's where you're most beautiful...

~ A

© 2014 Angela Darling, All Rights Reserved.